I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
