just come out here and I will go home with you...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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