Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
