I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
