I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
