Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
