Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
foreskin is a definite game changer
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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