OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
