it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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