he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
