After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
