Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
