Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
