Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
