so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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