Only a mothe r could love this liver
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
