This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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