it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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