made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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