so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I party with great urgency now.
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