Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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