I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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