It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
