Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
