i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
50% drunk capacity currently
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
