did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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