Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
