just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
