Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
