is wine microwaveable?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
