D3 body, D1 cock
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
