i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
