Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
