And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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