You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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