now i know why i became what i already was.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
