I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
