He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
