no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
