idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
