Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
