She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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