Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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