Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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