I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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