people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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