We're facebook friends in real life
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
