:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
