Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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