is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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